Procrastination...Probably one of the most self-destructive forces on earth. It's a silent killer, because it's passive and self-imposed. It slowly and methodically kills dreams, guts visions, detours and even destroys destinies. I know because I'm a victim. I guess the first step to recovery is recognizing it...and realizing that you are the only one who can stop it.
I guess I battle the big "P" in many areas of my life, and the impetus is usually fear. Fear of failure mainly, and to avoid failure, you simply don't try...do nothing and you're guaranteed not to fail (nor will you succeed, but that's another discussion). And thus enters procrastination.
The evil of procrastination I've recently confronted is its attack on re-creating. Let me explain. I'm finishing up reading a book, The Ragamuffin Gospel, and in it is a prayer of Gen. Douglas MacArthur which says:
"Youth is not a period of time. It is a state of mind, a result of the will ... a victory of courage over timidity ...A man doesn't grow old because he has lived a certain number of years. A man grows old when he deserts his ideal. The years may wrinkle his skin, but deserting his ideal wrinkles his soul."
My soul had been wrinkled because I deserted my ideal. Procrastination had driven me from re-creating myself. Basically what re-creates you is what gives you life, what makes you feel ALIVE. For me, it's writing. It's a process that's frustrating but incredibly fulfilling. And, it allows me to be a vessel that God can speak through and communicate to others. Yet, I stifled this process through procrastination...too concerned about how to start?, who would read it? and would it be worth it?
Well, I've come to the point where the risk is worth unwrinkling my soul. And step 1 was starting this blog. Hopefully you continue to join me on this journey of re-creating, and discover for yourself what makes you come alive.
6 comments:
Hey -- great stuff! My students need to see your comments on procrastination. (I need your comments on procrastination, but it's easier to focus on others.)
When I look around the everyday world, I see a clear need for both good writing and clear thinking. So I agree with you: keep writing! It's a matter of faith. You write, and trust God to do something with it. You do your job, and let God do his.
kev, great start man. P has gotten holdl of too many people. We fight with God's power against it.
Awesome!!! I am so proud of you and your journey in maintaining your freedom from Mr. P. I love the animation and personality of your writing. It kept me wanting to read more despite my duty to support anything you do :) Love You Bro
Ditto! Manda. Transparency is so difficult for most, yet so valuable. Her price is worth more than platnum. Thanks for sharing your heart, it makes people (especially me) love you more.
I smiled as I read this. Your words were well choosen, and I bless God that you are declaring victory over procrastination and doing one of the things that you have been created to do. I am inspired and I know that others will be too. I am proud of you and this bold step.
Can I share a little of my story...ok, a long story short...I graduated with a degree in Biology with the intentions of going to medical school. I studied and took the MCATs the year after graduating and did poorly. Since my college grades were not exceptional to say the least, I needed to have a highly competitive MCAT score. After receiving the results, I tried to remain hopeful but I was discouraged on the inside. I continously asked myself the questions, 'Am I smart enough? Do I really have the passion it takes to be a doctor, or am I only doing what's expected of me? Did I miss God? What really is it that God called me to do?' I convinced myself that I was going to wait until I was 100% sure that it was the will of God for me to go to med school and become a doctor. I waited and waited, or more honestly in this case, I procrastinated and procrastinated for the past 5 years.
It was during these years that I realized more and more that the idea of going to med school was not a fad or some passing thought I was following. I realized that it was truly God who placed the desire in my heart. Even while I was going through the empty motions of having a career outside of med school and being a doctor, it was not fulfilling. In my heart, God through His Word was building my self-confidence. His Word hid in my heart was life to me in the midst of great sadness. I, too, came to the point of deciding that unburying the life hidden inside of my heart was worth the risk. I agree when you say, the unwrinking of my soul is worth the risk. My first step to recreating myself is committing to retake the MCATs when it's offered again next August.
My heart's cry is that God unlocks the potential in me. That he transforms me. That the part of me that He sees that I don't see will come forth. That the part of me that He knows that I have yet to know will come forth. Let the recreated me come forth and bring glory to His name. (God help me to do my part)
You asked the question, 'What makes me feel alive?' I feel alive when God's Word and Presence is alive in me through daily, intimate fellowship. I feel alive when I'm able to express what He has given me through practical acts of love, verbal and written heart-to-heart conversations, and by being a living example.
Thanks Kev, for taking the first step of recreating yourself through this blog. You're an inspiration to me.
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