The Art of Forgiveness

Forgiveness is foundational to our faith. In order to come to God we must first believe that He will forgive us. And like most principles in the Bible, that concept of forgiveness must be reciprocated. We, too, must forgive.

If there's one thing most believers stumble over, it's this concept of forgiveness because for the most part, it's not in our DNA. It's not in our nature to let go of a grudge. It's much easier to put on an Adele song and stay pissed off at the person that broke our hearts. However, we're admonished time and time again to forgive.

One of my favorite lessons on forgiveness is in Luke 17:4-5. Jesus tells the disciples, "If your brother or sister sins against you, rebuke them; and if they repent, forgive them. Even if they sin against you seven times in a day and seven times come back to you saying, 'I repent,' you must forgive them." I love the disciples' response to this because it is one of pure honesty and humility: "Lord, increase our faith!" They understood how preposterous Jesus' statement sounded. It makes no sense to keep forgiving someone who continually offends you. As noble, faithful and loving as they were, the disciples knew they weren't capable of forgiving like that. I'm sure some of them thought of a person in particular whom they held a grudge against. So they pleaded for Jesus to give them more faith in order to forgive.

I know I need Jesus' help to forgive. It's difficult for me because I have a pretty good memory. I can recall in detail the moments and emotions of when I was wronged. Forgiving someone, particularly of a deep hurt, takes some time and effort on my part. But I also realize I have pretty good selective memory. Because I'm sure I have hurt people even more deeply than I've been hurt, but those incidents don't come to mind often. Likewise, I know I've offended and disappointed God more times than I can count. Yet, He forgives me.

One of the must forgiving people I know is my friend Nicole. Like all of us, she has past sins that she's not proud of. She lives in gratitude of God's forgiveness, not just in talk, but in action. Some of her favorite athletes and entertainers are ones with sordid pasts. We've debated on many occasions her respect and admiration for celebrities like Kobe Bryant and Chris Brown. Though see admires their talent, she's more drawn to their stories. She roots for people who have fallen publicly. For those who've made major mistakes. She likes a comeback story. She likes redemption. She forgives because she has been forgiven.

The greatest thing that sets Jesus apart from the other religious leaders of His day was His eagerness to forgive. No matter what someone did, they could come to Him and be forgiven and accepted. If Jesus has changed our lives with forgiveness, others should see the same quality in us. Let's live a life of gratitude by being eager to forgive.

Hope is in the Forecast

When she was just a girl

she expected the world

But it flew away from her reach

so she ran away in her sleep

and dreamed of paradise...

Every time she closed her eyes.

"Paradise" by Coldplay

I've been hearing that Coldplay song on the radio a lot lately. Like most of their songs, I like the sound and groove of it, but it took me some time to catch the meaning of the lyrics. It wasn't until recently that it hit me. The girl in the song isn't different than most of us. Throughout our lives we develop dreams and expectations. And inevitably, we experience disappointment. Usually that first taste of disappointment comes as a child when the gift you wanted wasn't under the tree for Christmas. Though we get accustomed to not having things our way all the time, that doesn't lessen the sting of unfulfilled expectations.

For some of us, we may not be living the lives we expected. We still don't have that dream job or that desired salary. Our marriage isn't as smooth as we expected it to be, or we didn't envision ourselves still being single. You may have lost your job, lost your house, gotten a divorce. Somehow, the storms of life crept up and they weren't in your forecast.

They weren't in the forecast because we feel as if we've done the proper things to avoid them. We follow Christ, we live by faith, we love our neighbor, and all that Christian stuff. We weren't expecting a perfect life, but maybe one better than what we have at the moment--and it doesn't help that there's no glimmer of sunshine on the radar either. In essence, we feel like we deserve better.

The truth is, we deserve what everyone else on this earth has gotten since Adam and Eve: The sun rises on the evil and the good, and it rains on the righteous and unrighteous (Matt. 5:45); it's not like God didn't warn us. This doesn't mean that there aren't benefits and rewards for trusting God, nor is having high expectations pointless. It just means we will experience conflict and discomfort along the way. A hell of a lot of it, too. The key to navigating the winds of disappointment is to not abandon hope. You may misplace it for a moment, as I have on many recent occasions, but don't abandon it.

The Bible says that hope is one of three virtues that will remain forever. I don't understand why hope is necessary in Heaven--what is there to hope for in paradise?--but I trust God knows what He's talking about. There must be something about it that has tremendous value, even beyond this temporary existence. One definition of hope gives some perspective on it:

hope - a person in which expectations are centered.

When our expectations are centered on God, we will truly never be disappointed. The conditions will change. Life will take unfavorable turns. But when our hope is in Him, we can trust that events will turn out for the best.

Even that girl in the Coldplay song eventually realized the power of hope: "So lying underneath those stormy skies, she'd say, 'oh, I know the sun must set to rise.' This could be Paradise.'"

"Anyone who trusts in Him will never be disappointed." Romans 10:11

Stop Waiting on God, He's Waiting On You

I'm not into reading instruction manuals. I'm sure companies put a lot of work into them, and they're helpful, but for most products, I like to tinker with the device myself in order to figure it out. It's more adventurous that way. Seriously, if you owned one smartphone, do you really need to read instructions on how to use your new one? Same thing with software, DVRs, TVs, tablets, and the like. Some things are best learned by trial and error.

Unfortunately, I haven't always applied that to my life. I've played it safe too often, especially when it comes to matters of faith. So often I'd say I'm waiting on God for something in my life, when I get the feeling God was actually waiting on me to move. Waiting for me to make a decision, and trust Him with the results. If you're like me, and you've made your fair share of bad decisions in life, particularly before you began following Jesus, you might be a bit cautious when it comes to doing things now, wanting to be sure God is cool with it. Likewise, if you've gone to church for sometime, you may have even developed this theology of waiting on God to "order your steps." While it's good to be circumspect in all we do, we shouldn't operate in extreme caution, because honestly, no one in the Bible lived that way. Granted, a lot of those guys heard from God through burning bushes, voices of thunder, angels and weird-looking prophets (John the Baptist probably wasn't as approachable as Joel Osteen)--so they may have had more certitude in their actions. But regardless, they were more often moving and doing, not waiting.

We see this particularly in the gospels. Though Jesus did a lot of teaching in the synagogues, His greatest sermons were object lessons. He healed people more than He taught about healing. He forgave people rather than just talking about it. He confronted injustice rather than protesting against it. And all the while, He included His disciples in these actions. The disciples bonded with Jesus in action, not in Bible studies. They learned on the go.

I believe Jesus desires to teach us the same way--in action. He doesn't want me to learn about prayer by reading the top 10 bestselling books on prayer at the Christian bookstore. He wants me to pray. If I'm doing it wrong, He'll correct me. Faith is more than just believing, it's doing. It requires action. Sometimes trusting God calls for us to wait, but more likely than not, it calls for us to move forward in uncertainty.

In Luke 17:12-14, Jesus comes across 10 people suffering from leprosy. He tells them to go show themselves to the priests. According to Jewish custom, when people were healed of the leprosy, they first had to go to the priests to be declared cleansed. Jesus did not tell these guys they were healed, didn't pray for them, didn't lay his hands on them before He told them to go. They had to trust Him and act. There was some uncertainty there. They could have gotten to the priests and been exiled for coming near the religious leaders unclean. But they believed Jesus, and acted in faith. On their way to the priests, they were healed.

I heard a message about a month ago where Bob Goff shared the importance of getting to the do part of faith. He admonished the audience with this: "If you just read about things, you feel like you're doing something, because you've read, but that's what stalkers do. They read about things, they memorize all this stuff. I realized I was just stalking Jesus, and I was creeping both of us out." Well, I don't want to stalk Jesus, I want to follow Him. And I can't follow anyone by standing still.